It has been 10 days. Ten days since I have held my son.
Carver had a hard time the first couple days but after we told him that Noah has friends in heaven, he seems to be doing better. I had a really hard time on Sunday since it had been a week. All day I kept thinking that a week ago I was in labor. I decided to go to church - by myself - and I almost didn't make it in. I did though and I'm really glad. Chris has been having a rough time the last couple days. It helps that when I'm low, Chris is strong and vice versa.
We met with the funeral home on Friday and I found an urn online that has Noah's ark on it. How perfect is that? y mom, her husband, my brothers and Jake's girlfriend spent the weekend with s and that helped. My milk came in on Friday and that's been difficult. I think I'm on the downhill of that though so that's good. At one point, Chris asked how I was doing and I said, "I need to nurse." :/
We got the call the from the funeral home that they were going to cremate Noah on Tuesday and we picked him up today.
I asked Chris to call the church to start the ball on the memorial service and he said that he wasn't sure on if he wanted to do a service. I thought that we had talked about this before Noah came but I guess that conversation was in my head and never made it out my lips. That seems to happen a lot. haha So we're back to square one on if we're having a memorial.
Carver
Noah
You are such an amazing woman Tana! Know that my family and I pray for you and your family every night, to continue to have strength during this time of sorrow. While reading my scriptures the other night I came upon this passage and thought of you and your remarkable faith in God's plan.
ReplyDeleteMosiah 18:9
9 Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life—
I know that sweet baby Noah is looking over you in Heaven and will be there to welcome you, Chris and Carver someday.
Oh, Tana...lots of love and hugs for you all! It is a process that I cannot even imagine having to go through but it does take time...lots and lots of it so both you and Chris take as long as you need!
ReplyDelete