It has been 10 days. Ten days since I have held my son.
Carver had a hard time the first couple days but after we told him that Noah has friends in heaven, he seems to be doing better. I had a really hard time on Sunday since it had been a week. All day I kept thinking that a week ago I was in labor. I decided to go to church - by myself - and I almost didn't make it in. I did though and I'm really glad. Chris has been having a rough time the last couple days. It helps that when I'm low, Chris is strong and vice versa.
We met with the funeral home on Friday and I found an urn online that has Noah's ark on it. How perfect is that? y mom, her husband, my brothers and Jake's girlfriend spent the weekend with s and that helped. My milk came in on Friday and that's been difficult. I think I'm on the downhill of that though so that's good. At one point, Chris asked how I was doing and I said, "I need to nurse." :/
We got the call the from the funeral home that they were going to cremate Noah on Tuesday and we picked him up today.
I asked Chris to call the church to start the ball on the memorial service and he said that he wasn't sure on if he wanted to do a service. I thought that we had talked about this before Noah came but I guess that conversation was in my head and never made it out my lips. That seems to happen a lot. haha So we're back to square one on if we're having a memorial.