Welp... I'm 27yrs old (and 2 days if you want to get technical). The day was harder than I thought it would be. It started rough and then I got coffee and went to Moms Group. I was feeling a lot better when I left. We picked up Chris and we went to Hello Cupcake (aka the BEST cupcakes ever!) and came home. The afternoon got rough again and I almost told Chris I didn't want to go to dinner but didn't. We went to El Pueblito (my fav Mexican place) and I finally got that margarita that I haven't been able to have in what seems like forever.
The thought that kept coming back is that no matter what happened that day, I would never be able to the one thing I really wanted. I know that Noah can't come back; and in all truth I don't want him to. He is where he is meant to be and I wouldn't want to change God's planning. But it's days like today that I know will be hard on me. I'm hoping, though, that since my birthday was so hard, Mothers Day will be easier.
For the most part, we've gotten back to our routine. We've had more good days than bad and that helps. Carver decided yesterday he wanted to have a "No Sassy Day" (sassy is what we call a pacifier). He did great all day yesterday but it took him a lot longer to fall asleep. So he was super fussy today but still didn't want his Sassy. But tonight he was just way too fussy and asked for it so I gave it to him. I'm encouraged though that he was the one that came up with this idea.
Well, did any of that make sense? I'm exhausted :)